Art by Jovi Vaughn

The Big Bad Black Girl

Jaiyana Stallworth

Who could be scared of me?  

My baby face and chubby cheeks?  

Even at my tallest, I don’t reach 5”3.  

So, I ask you again, who could be scared of me?  

I smile at everyone, when I pass them, I wave.  

If there’s ever a crowd where I stick out like a mass of white among storm clouds, then I am always sure to act the right way.  

I was not raised a fool; I know exactly how it is.  

My mistakes are dangerous, the way I speak ignites panic, my passion can never be too passionate, I’m bitter if I show the slightest hint of disinterest.  

Everything I do reflects on my mother, my grandmother, my cousins, my neighbors, women halfway across the world who I’ll never meet but what’s so scary is they represent me.  

People are scared of us; I don’t know how that could be.  

With my baby face and chubby cheeks?  

Even at my mightiest, I can’t reach 5”3.  

So, I asked my mother, who could be scared of me?  

My mother said “They’re scared of your intelligence. It threatens their previous notions.” She told me “They’re scared of your beauty. They know it’s something they’ll never achieve.”  

She warned “They’re scared of your success. They know you’ll inspire, and others will follow your lead”  

But most of all they’re afraid of the spark in my eyes. The way I signify persistence. My heart, my unwavering attitude, my resistance.  

To them, I’m a walking contradiction.  

To me, I’m the definition of perfection. 

I can give them something to fear. They will know I am not the exception; I am exceptional. My voice cannot be pulled to fit into a box of who’s acceptable.  

You will not accept me as one of you.  

I am not yours. I proudly represent my people.  

And I ask you, who wouldn’t be afraid of me?  

The beauty I carry in this baby face and these chubby cheeks.  

How I stand as tall as a mighty oak at barely 5”3.  

The way I speak with passion and bare my emotions on my sleeve.  

Despite the mistakes I make, I continue to sway confidently.  

My goals are not only high, but I constantly succeed.  

 

So, ask yourself, should you be afraid of me?